Mother’s Day.

Today is ‘Mother’s Day’ but today could also be ‘Decided Not To Be A Mother Day’ because I can’t think of a more pressing expose of the world that we live in. It’s taken an actual decline in birth rate (in the west) for men’s ears to prick up and so far the conversation has hovered around “course correction” and “more marriage”. We have created a world unsuited for creating life. I can’t stress enough how important it is for us to acknowledge this. The sentence itself is ridiculous.

A declining birth rate is nothing to do with sperm count or sexual revolutions. We are far from a sexual revolution, believe me. The death of life comes in the wake of closed windows. Gatekeepers. Asset hoarders. Exhausted teachers. Unaffordable childcare. Paths unclear from the debris. From litter thrown out of the window of quarter million pound cars by the disconnected and the uninspired.

My mother is a warrior. And a worrier. Heart open - wanting to help - sometimes to a fault. Homeless for a couple years we were taken in by another woman. Then on the dole. It wasn’t easy. Fortunately there was a village. And they all understood that I was their child too. It’s the only way towards humanity. To view all children as our responsibility.

The sanctity of parenthood should dictate everything. Working hours should bend around it. Hospitals should be supported to excel in supporting it. Childcare should be provided. Assisted. Guided. Maternity and paternity leave. In celebration of the creation of life. Free mentorship around parenthood. Space to express to learn to evolve and to break. Free of judgement and shame.

People shouldn’t be looking at the arrival of life as a potential burden. As a financial liability. But that’s what this world makes us do. And it’s not like dads aren’t trying either. Or haven’t been. Now alongside mothers. But how is it that being able to pay for a child comes at the cost of being there for them? It’s backwards.

And of course. We all seem to be in agreement that the earth is a mother. Even those lost to the malnutrition of regressive ideology. Of money gods. And look at how we treat her. Look at where our priorities lie.

Importantly // ‘Mother’s Day’ is also not confined to biology. There are of course those who may not be able to birth children for various reasons. This does not exclude them from maternity. There are a multitude of mothers who have stepped up from all angles. All stages. All levels of eldership and care. As we all should.

I want to take this opportunity to thank every mother throughout time for the suffering incurred and the reward that suffering provides. I appreciate it with every fibre of my being. I love you all. Even the ones who fucked up and couldn’t handle it. Who didn’t find nurture came naturally. Who wishes they hadn’t but sacrificed themselves for life anyway.

Maybe when our lives can centre around intimacy and touch and care and appreciation and devotion and an innate understanding of the joy that suffering will bring. Maybe then will the arms of creation open back up. It’s not difficult to see the trends by the way.

Babies are born in spaces where women are respected and childbirth is revered. Where fathers feel joy and the village feels duty.

Any man who believes that women not wanting to have children is a threat to existence needs to ask themselves if it’s their existence that is a threat. Because I get it. And I want the world they want.

I just spoke to my mum on the phone and she said that Mother’s Day in fact encapsulates the choice to not have a child. Because those souls are mothering themselves. So actually. Happy Mother’s Day. Always more to say. Happy Mother’s Day.