I keep coming back and reading this piece over and over again. I probably will continue to do so until I learn the lesson of this, "Yes, I will face my fears but that doesn’t mean I should keep creating the situations that haunt me. Especially not unconsciously. No more feedback loops." Thank you.
I think everybody cares what other people think. There are a few that don’t - but they tend to be the psychopaths, or is sociopaths, who don’t care and have no empathy and literally don’t care who they crush and who wants to be them? The rest of us care - but some of us (like you - and me and my friends too as it goes) - are much more open and honest about it. You either get the groups that hang together en masses, too scared to do anything alone as they like the strength of the group, although the group can be too much at times - or you get the individuals who like the groups but want to stay in a smaller group or on their own to avoid the group influence. But I think you find your ‘people’ - and people who are wise and kind tend to get you and see you for what you are. But empathy and wisdom doesn’t come to everyone - and takes time to ‘learn’. I think if you’re an empathetic, thinking person you need to spend time grounding yourself - ie in nature - where you forget about things that are no longer important and just sit and enjoy the feeling of being alive and not worrying. But as much as you might hate the sensitivity at times, it’s what gives you strength - strength to be honest, but also to write the truth and share your feelings. So be proud of that sensitivity - and enjoy being with those you know ‘get you’ 😀 I love the honesty and vulnerability of this piece - so thanks for sharing
Wow. I’ve never been able to put in to words the same fears I have of saying the wrong thing and people disappearing. Your description of teeth chattering and body temperature dropping is SPOT ON. I thought I was the only one who (I thought irrationally) felt this way. Thank you soo much for being brave enough to yet again say something without fearing others disappearing. P.s. for what it’s worth, I also appreciated the other piece of writing that has led to this one!
You know the feeling!! And thank you. Obviously that previous piece just reminded me how quickly those thoughts kick in. I think at some point I was always going to write about this. It’s a constant throughout my life, but happy to report it’s 100% got easier. Thank you for reading and responding. It really means a lot.
This came right when I needed it, after a fight with my childhood friend group. I need to stand for myself after standing for myself, like you said. Thank you for this beautiful piece <3 It resonated in so many ways.
This part: "connections can always be made and repaired". The grace to forgive yourself and for others to forgive you is more precious than gold. I'm blessed, abandonment issues have meant I've said stupid stuff and pushed people away. The real ones know my heart and forgiveness was made and we repaired. We are human ♥️
This is why I stay single. I will bend myself out of shape for someone who is patently wrong for me rather than risk the feeling of abandonment. Same with friends, jobs and even certain family members. It’s a constant struggle.
Word after word, truth after truth, pause.........feel.........stumble and then rise. Absolutely gorgeous Jordan. The need to be right is such a burden for so many. Patriarchal trick. Ego loves to win. Black or white. In or out. right or wrong. So much of Life is living in the grey I find....especially the growth. Thank you for modelling to us what the messy in between places look and feel like. Thank you for not having all the answers....for growing on the page. A whole heart-full of grey turns out to actually be silver I have found. How amazing is that?! Shine on my friend. The world needs you and your silver xxx
this hit different, pure honesty and a truth that pulled my own abandonment thoughts apart... will save this fear of piece to read again and again
cheers jordan 🫂
Agree with your comments but also… I’ve definitely had my name spelled like yours on a coffee cup before. 🤣
I keep coming back and reading this piece over and over again. I probably will continue to do so until I learn the lesson of this, "Yes, I will face my fears but that doesn’t mean I should keep creating the situations that haunt me. Especially not unconsciously. No more feedback loops." Thank you.
I think everybody cares what other people think. There are a few that don’t - but they tend to be the psychopaths, or is sociopaths, who don’t care and have no empathy and literally don’t care who they crush and who wants to be them? The rest of us care - but some of us (like you - and me and my friends too as it goes) - are much more open and honest about it. You either get the groups that hang together en masses, too scared to do anything alone as they like the strength of the group, although the group can be too much at times - or you get the individuals who like the groups but want to stay in a smaller group or on their own to avoid the group influence. But I think you find your ‘people’ - and people who are wise and kind tend to get you and see you for what you are. But empathy and wisdom doesn’t come to everyone - and takes time to ‘learn’. I think if you’re an empathetic, thinking person you need to spend time grounding yourself - ie in nature - where you forget about things that are no longer important and just sit and enjoy the feeling of being alive and not worrying. But as much as you might hate the sensitivity at times, it’s what gives you strength - strength to be honest, but also to write the truth and share your feelings. So be proud of that sensitivity - and enjoy being with those you know ‘get you’ 😀 I love the honesty and vulnerability of this piece - so thanks for sharing
Wow. I’ve never been able to put in to words the same fears I have of saying the wrong thing and people disappearing. Your description of teeth chattering and body temperature dropping is SPOT ON. I thought I was the only one who (I thought irrationally) felt this way. Thank you soo much for being brave enough to yet again say something without fearing others disappearing. P.s. for what it’s worth, I also appreciated the other piece of writing that has led to this one!
You know the feeling!! And thank you. Obviously that previous piece just reminded me how quickly those thoughts kick in. I think at some point I was always going to write about this. It’s a constant throughout my life, but happy to report it’s 100% got easier. Thank you for reading and responding. It really means a lot.
"As long as I don’t abandon myself, I say. Everything will be alright." Thank you thank you thank you.
This came right when I needed it, after a fight with my childhood friend group. I need to stand for myself after standing for myself, like you said. Thank you for this beautiful piece <3 It resonated in so many ways.
Thank you for this. Articulated so much. I relate.
This part: "connections can always be made and repaired". The grace to forgive yourself and for others to forgive you is more precious than gold. I'm blessed, abandonment issues have meant I've said stupid stuff and pushed people away. The real ones know my heart and forgiveness was made and we repaired. We are human ♥️
Absolutely loved and truly identified with this article… thank you for writing it.
Lovely piece Jordan and as someone said family members, I’m always hoping I didn’t say the wrong thing and they don’t go away.
Perfect
This is why I stay single. I will bend myself out of shape for someone who is patently wrong for me rather than risk the feeling of abandonment. Same with friends, jobs and even certain family members. It’s a constant struggle.
SNAP! Beautifully written too. ‘Standing by myself after standing up for myself’ woiii
Really appreciate this writing Jordan. Thanks 🙏🏼
Word after word, truth after truth, pause.........feel.........stumble and then rise. Absolutely gorgeous Jordan. The need to be right is such a burden for so many. Patriarchal trick. Ego loves to win. Black or white. In or out. right or wrong. So much of Life is living in the grey I find....especially the growth. Thank you for modelling to us what the messy in between places look and feel like. Thank you for not having all the answers....for growing on the page. A whole heart-full of grey turns out to actually be silver I have found. How amazing is that?! Shine on my friend. The world needs you and your silver xxx
Honest and heartfelt. Lots of this resonates with me too. Thank you for sharing ♥️